I have said it many times & will say it again today. Hopefully it will be my last saying of this. I promise to update my blog as often as I can. Hahaha. The same old story. Hehehe.
So now, what should I update you? I think it’s better for me to categorise things about my life. Ok, here’s how it’s going to be.
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Divorce – The Post Trauma
As much as I want it to be over, I know it will take some time to really get over it. Let’s face it. I’m afterall human being with feelings & humans don’t get over sensitive things like divorce very easily. I have acknowledged it with an open heart. In fact, it’s quite normal in our society.
One thing I know for sure now, it’s not as painful as before the first time I felt it when my ex wife dumped me in late 2008. Hahaha. It’s coming to 2 years now. So now, I’m still figuring it out on what to do for the rest of my life. I have a few personal plans but has not decided on the finalised plan. I will reveal the plans later maybe on my next update.
That’s all for I have on the Divorce section. I’m not fully recovered from it. There are still some pain left in me but I’m coping well with it at the moment.
The Precious Child – Aria Sheza
Well, I’m sure most of you would have known how I adore my little daughter. I love her so much that I feel I will die if anything is to happen to her. A father’s love for his child is unmeasurable by any known measuring instruments. That’s how deep I love my kiddo.
The fact that I see her only on weekends doesn’t help reducing my mental stress I’m experiencing daily. Life do has its way of balancing happiness & sadness. It’s feel strange sometimes.
The joy of seeing my daughter on weekends is beyond normal happiness. The short time I have with her break me hard without fail. I love to hug & kiss her all the time during this short time for fear of parting is nearing every single seconds that are passing.
I’m trying to learn to cope with this every week. I have one fear though especially when my kiddo grows up. She will start to feel the way I feel weekly & I’m forever fearful & worried if she can cope with it for I myself is struggling to cope.
Love Life
I can only laugh about this topic for now. The ideal stage of having to love & to be loved is what everyone wants but not everyone will achieve this. I’m one of those people who has not achieve the ideal love life. When I was married before, I thought I did but it didn’t last that long isn’t it. Hahaha.. I do have one part right though that is having to love someone unconditionally. I still love my ex-wife for that matter. 🙂
As much as I don’t want to get involve in loving another woman right now, that would be seen as stupid, dumb or whatever phrases you can think of to some people. In fact I have to agree with them. Loneliness is a killer. After been married for 6 long years, I know what’ve been missing the past one year plus living alone on my own in the empty house.
The fact that I’m a man makes matter worst. We men got needs if you know what I’m referring to. Hahahaha. So I don’t see myself staying single forever. Hahaha. Now, seriously I only see myself getting married again probably when I’m reaching 40 years old. There are valid reasons to why I will take such a long time to get married again. Hahaha.
For one, I will not be looking for a wife. If it comes, it will come. With this mindset, it will take a long time to get hitch. Hahaha. Secondly, I won’t get myself married to single woman because it won’t be fair to them since I’m considered one & half guy. A man with a child. Hahaha. Thirdly, I found out that I have problem loving another person & the fact that I’m still in love with my ex-wife.
Hahahaha. That’s all I can do about this topic.. Laugh. 🙂
WorkLife – Great Satisfaction!
Hmm, I love my work here in school. However, there is this fear that it may not be permanent as the work I’m involved with now is actually a contracted agreement between MOE & my company ASPIRE! . With that in mind, I need to have a backup plan in case my fear do take place probably in 3 to 4 years time when the contract ends with MOE.
But as long as MOE & ASPIRE! is still in contract, I will continue enjoying my work here in school. I have no intention of going anywhere unless I’m doing my own business & be my own boss. That’s actually my goal in life.
In the meantime, I have a small goal to achieve. I think it’s time for me to balance work at school as well as contributing my time to the company as much as I can since the company is the one who gave me the opportunity to work in the school in the first place & I have gained many valuable experience from it. But this will be done cautiously as I still need to balance whatever time I have left with the school, my company & my family.
Hobby – Soccer Freakizout
I thought I should add this here as well. My life since my active national service time in 1998 to 2008, I have minimal interest in soccer except during the world cup. Now, ever since the great D day (Divorce Day), my life has been filled with soccer related stuffs.
Last year in the early 2009, I decided to support a great superb soccer team Tottenham Hotspur from English Premier League or now they call it Barclay Premier League. This year is the World Cup again & I’m supporting England for its quest for World Cup glory.
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Hmm, this mid year update ends here. I’m sorry of it’s to long for you to read. Don’t worry, if you happens to read this sentence, congratulation! It’s the end for now. Hehehe. See ya soon.!
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